Cursed Kitsune
by NeonZangetsu
Summary: It began as any other day for Cana Alberona. With whiskey. Lots and lots of whiskey. Who'd have thought that a simple drink could lead to such a complicated situation? Who'd have thought that she'd meet someone like him? Indeed, it began as any other day for Cana Alberona. It began with her desire to be strong. It ended in strength. NarutoxCana! Pairing may be changed to harem ltr.


**A/N: Dreamnt up this one last night. I doubt anyone actually had the audacity to consider such an idea. As for the timeline...hmm...lets get solve that little problem right now. This takes place just after the little fiasco with Eisenwald, thus putting Natsu, Gray, Lucy and Erza, as well as Happy, out of the picture for the moment. Now...let us begin! I needed to write something decent and nice to get the last crappy fic I wrote out of my system. I'm not making anymore bets! Even when I'm sober!**

_"Happy? I've been trapped in a f***ing card for the last three centuries! Do I look happy to you?!"_

_~Uzumaki Naruto_

**Cursed**

The day began as any other day did for Cana Alberona. With whiskey. Lots and lots of whiskey. She always drank copius amounts of the stuff before a job, but for some reason she found herself especially thirsty today, perhaps nervous even. For the most part, her guildmates seemed intent to ignore her sudden binge, all save one. Cana glanced up from her booze as a delicate hand settled upon her shoulder, arresting her attemtp at drinking herself silly. Her eyes narrowed in practiced annoyance when she recognized the owner of that arm.

_Mirajane Strauss._

She found herself staring back at a pair of compassionate blue eyes, framed by a sea of snow-white tresses cascading down her back, her body sheathed in a revealing red dress. For a moment, Cana was distinctly irritated. Featured in Sorcer's Magazine on an almost daily basis, the takeover mage had a body even _she_ would kill for. She also served as a constant reminder of her own failure, her inability to become an S-Class mage despite taking the exam multiple ties. Burnishing beneath her attention, the cadre mage did forced a sigh.

"Whaddya want, Mira?"

"Mah, Cana," the former S-Class mage chided lightly, "You're never going to get a boyfriend if you keep drinking like that...

"As if I'd need one of those!" The brunette scoffed. "I'll never find a man who can drink more than me!" Huffing, Cana returned her attention to the large barrel in her hands. She _certainly_ didn't need to reminded of her relationship status! Every other girl in the guild was at least interested in someone else. Cana? Hell, she hadn't even had her first kiss yet! She'd liked Gray when he was younger_-and lets face it, what girl didn't like the sight of him in his boxers-_but they'd recently grown apart. Aside from him, therehe had too much of a bromance

"Still...aren't you drinking a bit too much today?"

"I am not!"

With that, she drank three full barrels, much to the dismay of her guildmates. She was _just_ topping off a fourth, when the white-haired mage finally put her foot down. Or rather, her hand. Cana gawped over her barrel incredulously, but the intense look on Mirajane's face and the vice on her drink made her groan. "Fine!" Cana put down her now empty barrel and wiped her mouth. "I'll stop drinking!"

"Good." Mirajane smiled and the gesture was warm as laval glow, but her eyes blazed with fire. "And you'll also take on a job."

_"What?!"_

"Silly me," Mirajane giggled to herself. "I said you'll take on _two_ jobs."

"But you just said one!"

"Did I?" Mirajane nonchalantly cleaned a glass. "I was almost certain you said three...

"If you're a man, you'll do four!" Elfman bellowed from across the room.

_"Aaargh!"_

Cana cast down her now empty barrel and wiped at her mouth, unable to believe her luck. There was just no arguing with Mira when she got like this. She'd earned the nickname Demon for a reason. And with Master away at the regular meeting, she couldn't cop out of it. Her thirst only _somewhat _quenched, the busty brunette slammed the barrel down one more time for good measure and departed the bar, wobbling only slightly as she rose from her stool.

She blinked a few times as she consulted the job board, searching for something, anything interesting. There! Choosing a job she herself thought to be particularly worthy of in terms of pay, she stormed out of the guild flyer in hand, and into the streets of Magnolia Town without so much as a backward glance. It was only as the door slammed that Mira thought about which flyer she'd selected. Blue eyes flew wide open.

"Oh dear." Mirajane murmurred, gazing at the empty spot on the board. "I didn't expect her to choose that one...

"Which one did she take?" Macao asked once they were certain she was gone. If it was enough to concern the infamous Demon, then it certainly boded ill for the rest of them. The few remaining mages crowded around the board, each eager to see which job the tipsy fairy had selected. Upon closer inspect, Mirajane was the first to blanch. Elfman wasn't very far behind.

"Sis," He began, softly, "Maybe we should send someone after her...

"What, what?" Laki asked, confused. "Which one did she pick?"

The two takeover siblings shared a grimace.

_"The Cursed Card..._

Wakaba nearly swallowed his pipe.

"Oi!" He exclaim aghast, stealing a furtive glance back at the doors. "Wasn't that one S-Class?!"

* * *

"Oi!" Cana bellowed as she kicked in the door to the card shop. "Old man!"

"How can I help you, my dear?"

A decrepit old shopkeeper shuffled toward her from behind the counter and Cana resisted the urge to scoff. Clearly the shop had seen better days. Nevertheless a series of cards were proudly upon display the cheapest of which boasted the price of nearly three million jewel. _Three million jewel?!_ She performed a double take, brown eyes wide with dismay, as she inspected the ludicrous price for each. Small wonder the place had gone under! Somehow, she couldn't help but wonder. Why on earth was the old man wearing an orange mask? And what the hell was with the one eye-hole? His black hair was streaked with grey and his voice was eerly akin to the rustling of dry, dead leaves when he spoke.

"You wouldn't happen to be a customer by any chance, would you?"

"'Fraid not." Cana thrust the flyer into his face. "I'm here about the request. The one about that card of yours."

"Oho!" The old man tittered softly. "Someone finally answered that old thing?"

"I'm here, aren't I?"

"And you're S-Class?" the man inquired.

_Did he say S-Class?_ Cana balked. _Shit! _She cast a furtive glance at the flyer for confirmation. Sure enough, the request read**_ S-CLASS ONLY _**in big, bold letters. Sweating bullets, she found herself faced with a decison that could make or break her career as a mage. On one hand she could tell the truth, admit to him that she was not, in fact, S-Class, having grabbed the flyer by mistake. She could return to the guild, dejected and all but humiliated by her own failure. Another constant reminder of her inability to measure up to her guildmates. A reminder that she wasn't S-Class. Or...

Or she could lie.

She could tell this man that she was S-Class, and he'd be none the wiser. Hell, if she completed the job, she'd have proven herself to everyone. How bad could it possibly be? She just had to look at a bunch of cards for this old jiji, right? Given the choice, she weighed the options. Truth or falsehood. Failure of success. The choice was as obvious as water and alchohol.

_Cana lied._

"O-Of course I am!" she forced a confident smile. "I wouldn't be here if I wasn't!"

"Hmm...I've never heard of you." The masked shopkeeper scrutinized. "Say girl...you're not pulling my leg, are you?"

"Would I be here if I was?" Cana challenged, hoping she felt as confident as she sounded.

"Oh, wonderful!" The man sang in a sing-song voice. "Finally, someone has answered my prayers! Please, just a moment!" He scuttled into a back room, the rustling of cloth and the opening of drawers pursuing him as she looked on. With a triumphant cry he emergedwith nine cards, each displayed with roman numerals numbering from one to nine. The individuals etched within were as varied as the cards themselves, each unique in their own right as the grizzled old shopkeeper laid them out before her.

"Please, take one." he gestured. "Whichever catches your eye."

_"Nani?"_

"Aren't you S-Class?" the old man challenged, and Cana almost missed the sudden venom in his words.

"How about that one?" Cana pointed, toward a card that happened to catch her eye. It wasn't so much the card itself that caught her eye, rather, the one engraved upon it held her gaze. A young man of roughly twenty years stared back at her from within, his whiskered cheeps upturned in a warm smile, his bright blue eyes focused unblinkingly upon Cana. His stare was riveting. Spellbinding. It felt as though she'd be swallowed up by that perpetual smile, devoured unflinching gaze. And then he blinked. Cana stifled a yelp, clamping down on her disbelief before the shopekeeper could notice.

_Holy shit!_

"Erm...ah, miss?" the shopkeeper asked. "Are you certain you want that one?"

"Why?" Cana asked, intrigued. "Is there something wrong with it?"

"Well, not exactly...its just that... The shopkeep glanced around, as though he were fearful of prying eyes. Finally, concvinced that no one was watching, he beckoned Cana closer. When he finally spoke it was in a low, hushed tone, as if the floorboard themselves were eavesdropping.

"The last owner of that card was Wizard Saint." He revealed. "She wielded card magic, just like you. Pretty powerful stuff, too, that." _Well, color me impressed._ The old far was telling the truth. A certain member of the Ten Wizard Saints had wielded card magic at one point in time. It was for that very reason, she'd learned to wield her own arcana. But where was the proof that she had wielded this card? And if so, how had it come to rest in this decrepit old shop? She was being played. She shouldn't want it, she really shouldn't.

But a nasty little voice in her head said, _"You know you want it, you just can't leave it alone, 'cause you want to be stronger-_

She mentally smacked herself.

_Oh, now I'm definitely buying that card!_

"Well

"I'll pay you 1,000 jewel for it." Cana offered.

"Oh no!" the clerk insisted, clutching it near and dear to his chest. "I could never!"

"Two thousand jewel." she shot back.

The shopkeeper squirmed under her gaze.

"Really, I musn't-

"Three thousand and not a cent more!"

"Sold!" His suspicions seemingly slain by the promise of that much coin, the man gladly exchanged the card for her money. Cana couldn't help but grin at her accomplishment. She felt stronger already. She hazarded a glance down at her prized possession, marvelling at it. The card was warm to the touch, soft and smooth beneath her fingers. Strange. Hadn't the card been blue? Now, it was a scintilating scarlet beneath her fingertips and she thought she heard a small hiss of surprise as she ran her hand over its smooth surface. Had she listened more intently, she might've heard a voice:

**_"The hell?"_**

"So, now what?" She asked, realizing she was still in the middle of a job, and down three thousand jewel. "I mean, I picked a card, hell, I even ended up paying for it!"

The man's single eye twinkled behind the mask.

"Now, I want you to take that card, and place it face up, against your forehead. Like so." The masked clerk made the motion with a black card, and to her dismay, Cana found her arm mirroring the gesture. Brown eyes flew wide open. She hadn't meant to do that. Subconciously, she willed herself to lower her arm. Nothing happened. Grimacing, she tried again, and elicited only the slightest of spasms in her wrist. Nothing more. Cana froze as her hand betrayed her and pressed the card firmly to her forehead.

"W-What's going on?"

The old man said nothing. He kept the card against his forehead, and muttered an obscure incantation. His crooked back seemed to straighten as she looked on, and he grew in size until he stood at a menacing six feet tall. The slly orange mask was replaced by one of purplish grey, bearing two mismatching eyes. One of rippling violet, the other a bloody red, ringed with a trio of tomoe marks. Both, seemed to bore into Cana, sapping her of her strength. Her willpower. She struggled to move, to resist, but all that emerged was a small gasp as a tide of red-hot agony washed over her.

"Much better." He sighed, cracking his back and joints. "You have no idea how painful it is for me to use transformation magic anymore."

_Oh, god._

_Move!_ She screamed at hersef! _Please! Move!_

Her body refused to respond, refused to comply as the man stepped around the counter towards her. Sweat beaded down her face as he produced a knife and traced it across the length of her forearm, drawing a line of blood across the quivering limb.

"Foolish, foolish little girl." He chuckled; it was a rich, throaty sound. "You should've known better than to accept an S-Class job." He noted her prone form. "If you had been an actual S-Class, I would've been forced to subdue you at the very least. But you're not, are you?" A dizzying rush of images assaulted her, sweeping her up in a tide of misery and agony. Memories not her own crashed down around her ears, leaving her, awash in a sea of cold fury. Then came the voices.

_Why does everyone hate me...?_

"Wha?"

_Nobody cares..._

"W-What's going on?!"

_They should all just die!_

They rose in her ears; an incessant din, an eeri cacophony of voices, refusing to be silenced. And yet somehow, she could still hear her captor speaking.

"Didn't think so." The masked man tittered to himself. "Even if you were, its too late now. The curse is complete. Your body is bound to his now. And soon, it will be bound to me. Cana could only tremble _tremble _as he crept closer, as the world began to blur." The card blazed red-hot against her forehead scalding skin and singing hair. "You see, I've placed the most interesting curse upon you, my dear." He continued to explain as all of her existence became inverted. "I needed a host body to draw him out, and you'll do just fine. Now, I'll absorb you along with him and the Jyuubi will finally be-

Red light erupted from the card and into the man.

"What?!" he gasped as tendrils of scintilating scarlet latched onto his arms and legs, crawling across his flesh. "What is this? What's happening? No! NO!" Clearly, this wasn't supposed to happen. The man's screams of agony and torment evidenced as much. Cana was helpless to do anything but stand in place as a tide of cruel crimson crept out of the card, Helpless as azure intertwined with crimson, assuming shape and form. Even as she looked on, she found she recognized him, even in his orange black garb and metal hitiate.

It was the blond from the card, she realized.

"You!" The masked man hissed, recognizing the blond as well. "Uzumaki Naruto!"

"Using an innocent girl to yank me out of limbo...smart move, _Tobi."_ When he spoke, it was with enough venom to silence her fears. "Not smart enough, though." A sphere of spiraling light swamed his palm, engulfing it and the length of his arm. Cana found herself looking up, up, up, found control of her body returned to herself as the spiraling sphere grew larger still, bruising the cavernous roof beyond. _"Sooo,"_ The blond growled dangerously, "lets see you dodge this one!"

"No!" The man known as Tobi screamed in feeble defiance. "This wasn't supposed to happen! You cannot do this to me! Not when I'm so close! I've already absorbed all the others! You _cannot_ do this to me! Not when I'm about to become complete! You cannot! You shall not! You-

"Chou. _Odama._ **Rasengan."**

Whatever else the masked man might've said ended as the blond brought his arm down. Hard. The super giant spiraling sphere struck the masked man full on, reducing his body to a bloody smear upon the shop floor and all but bringing the roof down on their heads. Cana looked on in horror, then shock, then awe, as eight individual spirits arose from the ashes of the masked man's corpse. They stood as one before the blond each gazing, peering at him intently. What did they want? Eight figures, each of them the same from the cards, stood before them. The blond seemed to realize just what they wanted; because he raised his arms and tilted his head back in resignation.

"Do it." He hissed through clenched teeth. "Do it now!"

They lingered a moment longer before hurtling forward, rushing into the blond's chest. The very act of it staggered him, his mouth splitting open in a soundless scream. When he opened his eyes, Cana nearly screamed herself, such was the sight. His blue eyes had all but vanished, replaced now by rimmed violet, filled with dozens of tomoe. His jacket tore itself open, flaying itself to pieces beneath the sheer might of the forces ripping through his flesh. Convulsing, he fell to the floor, Blood leaked from his eyes, streaking across his whiskered cheeks

"At last." He whispered. "I am whole."

He stood woodenly, not taking enough care. Nearly stumbled backwards into her. She flushed as his bare chest pushed up against her breasts.

"H-Hey!" She sputtered, cheeks burning at the sudden contact.

"Are you alright?"

Cana blinked. _He_ was the one staggering around like a drunk, blowing people's heads off, and he was asking _her_ if she was alright? She nearly laughed-too late, she was laughing. Warm tears trailed down her face with each maddened giggle, disbelief threatening to break her mind. She slumped to the ground, still laughing, still covered in blood, still unable to believe what she'd just witnessed. It had all started out so simple. Take the job to mollify Mira, and come back with some extra cash. In the last five minutes, she'd mistakenly accepted an S-Class assignment, nearly been possesed by a dark mage, had her life saved, and watched said mage be reduced to a puddle of blood beneath her feet. Oh, god. His blood. She was covered in his blood...

"Whoever you are, snap the hell out of it!"

His words did jus that; yanking her out of her maddened frenzy.

"W-Wha?"

The blond asked again:

"Are you alright?" He pressed. "He didn't do anything to hurt you, did he?" She barely even noticed his fingers upon her own, idly realizing he was about a head or so taller than her. Even as she looked on those terrible terrible orbs faded from existence, replaced by eyes the color of afternoon skies. He knelt before her wordlessly, awkwardly pulling her into his arms. Into an embrace. Carrying her, like some blushing bride. Except, the one blushing was the blond, not her.

"Uzumaki." He mumbled.

"Huh?"

"I said the name's Uzumaki!" Clearly uncomfortable with holding her in such a manner, the blond was unable to meet her gaze. "Uzumaki...Naruto." Muttering a spell beneath his breath, he dabbed at her face with the tattered remnants of his now soaked jacket in the vain hope of cleaning her body of guts an gore. Cana couldn't help but notice how red those whiskered cheeks got...when he was forced to dab the cloth between both her breats. Were it anyone else, had he not just saved his life, she ha've slapped him silly. As it was, she flushed.

_Aw, _that little voice in her head thought aloud,_ he's cute._

"Cana." She murrmurred back. "Cana Alberona."

His task finished, Naruto hefted her in his arms, took three steps forward, grunted in surprise.

"Well then, Cana Alberona, it seems we have a problem."

"Huh?"

The blond grinned sheepishly.

"Would you kindly mind telling me where the hell I am and where I'm supposed to be taking you?"

_"Nani?"_

Ah yes, the day began as any other day for Cana Alberona. It ended with the meeting of a lifetime. It ended, with a newfound-and possibly lethal-friendship. She ceased to be normal the day she found herself bound to this stranger boy from within the card, body and soul. That day, her fate became his fate. His power, her power. Her life, his life. His death, her death.

**A/N: Dun-Dun-Dun! Tobi's insidious plot continues even after death! Even dead he's still a pain in the ass! NarutoxCana FTW! You wanted to be S-Class, didn't you, Cana? Well...congratulations on accepting your first S-Class assignment. Now, if only you could get rid of your little guest...I thought the title of "Cursed Card" was unassuming enough, andyes, you guessed it, Naruto is basically bound to Cana. Not so much as sharing the same body, but if she feels pain, he will feel pain. If she dies, he dies. Naruto is still Naruto, albeit containing the Jyuubi, and Cana is still Cana, she just got a MAJOR magical upgrade, one she'll need to learn to control and explain to the guild, and when the magic council comes a' knockin'**

**If they wants to be free of the curse, our pair will have lots of *humorous* work to do, so...**

**...REVIEW...would you kindly?**

**R&R! =D**


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